


Pages

by McNuggiesSnapped



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Misgendering, My First Fanfic, Nonbinary Character, Paranoia, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McNuggiesSnapped/pseuds/McNuggiesSnapped
Summary: When Link finds themself sitting alone at the campfire, they write about their issues. Not all of them are "just in their head".
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Pages

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unspecified Link vent with very little editing. It's also my first fic posted to AO3 so please have mercy on me. The mental illness (es?) Portrayed in this are unspecified because I've never been diagnosed with anything and don't want to slap labels on things😅 Also apologies for any formatting errors.

They sit by the campfire and bring out a notebook, beginning to write

'A kaleidoscope of colour moves in front of me. The world turning and twisting in on itself the longer I stare. Black spots pulse and throb in my vision in time with my heart if I breathe too deep or move too fast, I stretch too far or let my mind wander from my body. It is normal.

But someone told me it's not.  
Just like someone told me the monsters at the edge of my vision, the ones that run for me, chase me even in my own mind, aren't real.  
Why? How do they know?  
They can't see it so to them it's not real but it's my reality.  
It's all I have left.

I can't tell what's real anymore.  
I can't-  
Remember  
I can't remember and what I do I can't tell if it's real.

I have false memories.  
Things I'm sure of that others say never existed. Conversations I never had, people I've never met.

But I see them and hear them in my mind.

I don't remember much from before.  
It would be different if it was things I could excuse like random memories from childhood.  
But I can't remember when things happened, things I'm sure happened yesterday happened a month ago.  
I can't remember a lot of things, there's gaps in my memory.  
Conversations I've just had, people I've just met, places I've just been, all gone.

I can't remember a single detail.'

They hunch forward as someone walks past- who?  
They continue;

'Other things, I remember with startling clarity. I see them like a scene in a play performed infront of me, no connection but a role to play none the less. Others are just snapshots, photographs, I see only an image. No movement, no context, sometimes a snippet of conversation but never enough.

I don't understand it. What happened to cause this?

I can't sleep. It's been years since I've slept soundly. I know it's because of what he did but I can't remember what that is.

Isn't that funny?

Something that's effected me to this day and I can't even remember anything past the facts I've been regurgitating whenever someone asks what happened? The things people tell me happened.   
But.

No one knows everything.

I don't even know.

He certainly doesn't.

What the hell could one man do that would cause all this?

But-  
Some of this is from before.  
I like to blame him but I already know there were things wrong with me long before.

All he caused was my lack of sleep and increased paranoia.

I already hated touch, I already had a bad memory,  
I already saw the monsters,  
Reaching for me.  
Walking slowly down the hall  
Standing in the corner  
Behind that tree  
Outside the window or downstairs  
Waiting. Watching. Wanting.

I know they aren't real.  
But a lot of the things I'm sure aren't real turn out to be true, someone tells me and the things I know are facts   
Are just more false memories.

Some people call me insane.  
I don't need someone to echo my thoughts.  
-'

"Hey!" Someone calls from across the fire. They look up.

"Come on dinner's ready" he states (who is it?)

"She's stuck in her head again" someone else whispers, not maliciously, but certainly not caring.

(Didn't I- no that was someone else. I told a different group. They don't know. They wouldn't do that.  
Would they?)

"It's they" they try to speak, voice barely carrying past their lips.

"What's that?" Another asks, clapping them on the back.

Silence.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud."

"Well that's dangerous! Especially for you!" He jokes(?) with his hand still on their back.

"Say, what could possibly be going on in that head of yours that's got you zoning out all the time?" Another. Too many now. Dangerous. Too many eyes, inspecting, watching for a slip.

"I don't know. Like I said I'm just thinking." Diffuse the situation. Don't draw attention.

"Hmm. Well dinner's getting cold, we can talk again later." The first speaks. 

"Okay. Give me a second." They wait.

When the others have left, turned towards the pot as they're served their portion of the meal, they turn back to the fire.

They sit by the campfire and rip out pages from a notebook, throwing them in.

"It's not real if no one else knows it is." They state plainly as the pages curl and blacken, turning to ash.


End file.
